I am caught up in the weird dichotomy I live in.  I live a life of extremes with my kids. Their life is one extreme for me. I am currently sitting in Jubilee, one of the worst ghettos in all of Haiti updating my blog from a wireless high speed connection. There is very few light bulbs in Jubilee. The only way for my beautiful macbook to be charged is by running a generator. Water is boiling in a stainless steel pot on top of a bunsen burner in the corner. Mac and cheese for supper, with a dash of Lala’s Daddy’s famous spices. Some things are so advanced, which is the part of me that resides in an American mindset. And some things are so rudimentary. Like the one pipe that drizzles dirty water on our hands into a 5 gallon bucket on the floor as we use laundry soap to wash up for supper. It is that part that makes me feel Haitian. But I am caught up in the dichotomy. In the tough burning between the two worlds. Seeing the good and beauty in both. Seeing the ugly underside of each. Wanting somehow to sift the good, leave the bad and melt the two together to form something above and beyond.

I look out the window of this one room 10 x 10 cement house of Lala’s and see mud homes on one side, city Brian (the 50 cement one room houses Brian built with a grant) on another side, the beautiful yet bare mountain on the third side and on the last side is wasteland and a heap where the trash from the city burns all through the night. It reminds me of Gehenna in the Bible and how Jesus compares hell to Jerusalem’s city dump that never ceases burning. I look out and see the slow burn and I am reminded of those words. I refuse to own that for Jubilee though. I rebuke the notion that this place is as wasteland. I rebuke the belief that no good can come from here.

My kids are proof.
The smiles are proof.
The healthy children are proof.
The babies born are proof.
The saved mothers are proof.
The love is proof.
The little milestones that mean little to anyone but those who have been here and know- are proof.
Hearing our children pray is proof.


God works everywhere.


I am caught up in the stark reality of life on a fracture planet.



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